A REWARD: IS NECESSARY FOR BEING HUMAN?

I noticed that grass grow wildly in my yard so I asked someone to clear it and he asked for some payment of it so we agreed of the payment and he did it. Looking at this small incident brought me an awareness that people need a reward of their work or service in terms of gift, money, or any other token of appreciation. But why?

When I was a child, I remember my parents asked me to do certain household and at the end they appreciated what I did with a “short of gift”; my school recognized my best performance by giving me “a certificate of appreciation”; when I attended a course, the institution presented me with a certificate of attendance; and when I performed the best in my work, I was granted a promotion. Why?

A reward is given in order to recognize one’s performance and one’s work or service but it unconsciously raises a mentality of expecting reward and of striving for reward. Reward becomes a sign of success. However, it is a good thing to expect and to strive for the best in our life but it is a barrier of personal growth when we expect and strive for reward. “I am not looking for money but money will come when I do my work well and I serve my costumers well”.

I remember a theory in sociology and psychology, called social exchange theory, which see human relationship and interaction in terms of implementing a cost-benefit analysis to determine risks benefits. This theory can be seen clearly in romantic relationship, friendship, professional relationship and very short relationship. Problems caused by social exchange are occurred when the costs of relationship are higher than rewards received.

Thus, rewards, can be seen clearly in human interaction when one has a value to offer and see that his/her value is beneficial for others. Parents reward their children because they see that their children perform well as a child in the family and make them happy. At the same time children reward their parents by showing them values, to which their parents highly appreciate. The only problem is that when one’s expectation of rewards is not valued. It leads to one’s frustrations.

So a reward is important but it should be followed by good motivation; reward cannot determine someone destiny of happiness and of being fully human. Reward actually is an instrument to reach our goal but we cannot make it as a goal or the only goal in our life. Reward can never be the way of measuring our interaction and relationship with others. What I think, do or act for having a value for myself, should not be focused to get reward. I behave and act well because by doing so I fulfill myself to be human; I enrich myself to be more human; and I empower myself to fulfill my humanity. Furthermore, when I fulfill my humanity I praised and glorify the Creator, my God, who created me and put me here and now for His Purpose and for His Glory.

Striving for and getting what we expect and dream of is a way of live our life but our dream should not be for a reward. “I am living my life to pursue my dream and my goal” is not for the reward but reward will be a result of it.

We are naturally built in for a reward; it can be physical, emotional, or spiritual to actualize our needs. Abraham Maslow, a psychologist, with his hierarchy of human needs, describes the process of actualization of oneself from the basic to the higher needs. When we apply it to the reward; reward, therefore, can be seen as a motivation of someone to fulfill his/her needs in their life. Reward can be a motivation for us to live. For example, when I perceive of having a degree and then getting a better job as rewards, I will study harder for it and will get it as a reward because by getting a degree and getting a better paid job I will satisfy my need of security and other basic needs or even reaching my self-actualization.

Thus, we are molded, formed, and fashioned by parents and our society to get reward but we should understand of its motivation: does my motivation to get a reward is morally, culturally and socially acceptable? Does my motivation pave a way to reach my self-actualization or in Jesus term, to have life to its fullness? Good and true motivation is like good soil for seed that provide nutrients for a seed to grow, which at the end it will produce good harvest and better fruit in life. Do we seek for reward, which is benefits for the good of our community or only to benefit our ego? Do we strive for reward to satisfy our soul or only to quench our thirst of power and self-glory?

Success: The truth of it!!

Does “having something precious” or “reaching something higher” identify with success? If the success of a tree is to produce fruits and the success of flower is to produce flower, then success is seen in terms of producing “fruits” and “flower” that are useful for others and for oneself. This kind of success is normally perceived but we forget about the long and hard process of growth of a tree or flower: A process to survive from seed stage, germination, growth to reproduction. Each stage is important part of success of being tree or plants. So we can say it also to the success in our life.

Today people always want to be successful in life. Success is a dream from everyone: parents dream to see their children success; children are encouraged to go for educational training for future success. But why success is so powerful word in our world today?

Multi-millions Dollar people, such as Jeff Bezoz, Bill Gates, Bernard Arnault, and others, show that having money and richness is the measurement of success. So having money leading to success or does being rich show one’s success? Does success identify with having power, money, and prestige? What does success mean in today’s world, in our society and in our daily life? Is this kind of success offered by the society true? Is there any true success? Which kind of success is true?

If someone who invest a million US dollar and then get income of another millions, he will be seen as a successful investor; Thomas A. Edison is seen as a successful inventor because of inventing thousands of inventions necessary for humanity. However, a teacher can be seen as successful teacher when he produces quality future leaders; and in a small scale, when he leads students to pass their examination.

Success is a desirable value, which is seen in multiple facets, depending on the subject’s intentions. It might be subjective as no measurement of success. Moreover, it can be perceived mentally and materially: a person can see success in terms of his condition of happiness and one of his status in the society. Others see success as a process when you only notice it at the end of his life time. At bottom line, success is a personal’s state of being fully human, at the given time and situation, and at condition of being accepted as a person in the society and at his relationship with others.

However, many examples of people sacrifice and spend their time, their resources, and their life, which I see them as successful people. Mother Theresa of Calcutta, for example, spent her life on taking care of the poor and the abandoned in city slum of Calcutta. She was seen as a successful religious in term of being faithful to a little gesture of help for the needy. On the other side, a little boy was very proud of his dad because he was faithfully provided daily food for them and be a good father in the house. We may see it as a successful father for that boy.

Therefore, success is almost identified with self-sacrifice and self-giving love, and a commitment to others and it is exercised daily. This kind of success is Christian’s success and offered by Christian’s believe as it is only achieved by commitment, sacrifice, and self-giving love towards the benefit of others.

So always be success in your life by being good and doing good towards yourself and others.

COVID-19: A VIRUS AND A FEAR

Covid-19 virus’ epidemic -and become pandemic- in some countries, especially China, Japan, South Korea, Iran, and Italia creates a paranoid mentality and paranoid action of our daily life. In Germany, for example, some people bit a Japanese train passenger because of them suspecting him having the virus; some Chinese are being bullied and discriminated because of that of virus. On the other side, some countries are banning the infected countries to enter their country. For instances, I just got the news that the Indonesian Government banns travelers from China, South Korea, Iran, and Italy to enter the country. What is going on here?

Many medicines starting from traditional medicines to the modern laboratory-made-medicine, try to calm down human paranoid of this virus by offering their products that prevent the virus; many advice by WHO directors, scientists, scholars, government officers, NGOs directors, religious leaders, and even some self-made experts try to give solution how to prevent us from the virus. Some people honestly try to assist others with their own resources and knowledge about the virus but others are using this situation to make money. I read a news about the lucking of maskers in some countries and how expensive they are.

Moreover, this situation also enter to influence the rituals in religions. Catholic church, for example, in USA the bishops are banning its faithful to receive the Holy Eucharist on tongue; in England, catholic bishops requested the faithful to avoid holy water and not to receive communion with the chalice, even the public veneration of relics and the veneration of the cross on Good Friday should not be kissed and touched; in Malaysia, a catholic diocese regulated to cut down church meeting and to have a meeting not more than an hour; even the diocese toke a strong decision to immediate suspension of penitential service; and many other dioceses around the world has done the same. What is going on here? Is the Church doing justice to its faithful by regulating those practices in its rituals? Or is it in the name of preventing the faithful to get the virus and taking the health precautions, the Church put those regulations?

Are we crazy and paranoid of this tiny virus, which only infects very small numbers of a Chinese citizens comparing to a billion of its population and a tiny number of Italian -which at the moment, there are 148 cases- of around 60 million of its population? And so many under the two digits cases of million people? What do we fear of? Do we fear of the virus because of its fast spreading, of its NOT having an anti-virus, and of its killing ability? Or we are afraid of the collapse of our world economy? 

I don’t belittle the impact of this virus but we have to see this situation in appropriate ways, to deal it wisely and not to bring us into a kind of phobia, which will stop us from every activity and everything that are useful and necessary for our life and society. 

Why do not we fear of the poverty in this world, which is the main cause of many children and women died and millions of people who are hungry and luck of clean water and necessary needs for them to live, especially in the poor countries? Why are not we afraid of the human emotionally, spiritually, and emotionally sickness around us, which is showing up in signs like stress, depression, suicidal thinking and behaviors, anomaly   attitudes among our youth, drugs that kill many people and affect millions of life? Why do not we fear of human made disasters, such as creating massive and powerful atomic, nuclear arsenals and rockets, bio-weapons, which kill millions of people in this world and fear of cutting the trees and of destroying our natural environments that cause disaster and global warming and changes of climate?

So why do we paranoid about the virus and allow others to kill and destroy us? Why can now we prepare and do the same precautions how to prevent our world, our society, our country, such as we have done to prevent ourselves from the Covid-19? Can we do the same, to prevent poverty and all the spiritual and emotional illness that also destroy us?

Finally, we should not allow this virus to control us but we should control it. I think at the moment the actual virus is not strong but the spirit of this virus has destroying our world. It is like Satan. This virus has metamorphosed to become a spirit that brings fear and paranoid in our world and our society. This spirit creates more damage than real virus. This spirit has been trying to destroying the humanity, if we allow it to be. Therefore, let us focus on the Spirit of God that unites us and brings life to our world. Let us Hope.